


And I will drown in the fear

by bennybentacles



Series: whumptober 2020 [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Ben Hargreeves-centric, Choking, Gen, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Rescue, Violence, basically i just cheated the system, rewite of 01x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26834062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennybentacles/pseuds/bennybentacles
Summary: was it his fault even if he can't do something about it?
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: whumptober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953556
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	And I will drown in the fear

**Author's Note:**

> whumptober no.5  
> Where Do You Think You're Going  
> On The Run | Failed Escape | **Rescue**

Ben should've told Klaus to run earlier. Ben saw how Luther swayed, eyes unfocused as he made his way towards Klaus and Ben did nothing because he's an idiot. a stupid idiot

or maybe it was because he still trust Luther, number one, who never failed him, who had carried him back to the academy and held him until his last breath. maybe it was because he doesn't think his brother could hurt anyone that he knows

he made a mistake, and now he had to pay its price. Ben knows it could as well be his fault because he was there and he did nothing but watch as his brother slowly lose his senses and choke Klaus. Ben had only watched and he deeply regrets that

he knows that Klaus would never blame him, or Luther, or anyone but himself. but Ben blames himself, and Luther, and anyone but Klaus because now Klaus may die and it's their fault 

he saw how his brother's hand glowed and je looked down at himself, mind processing what is happening quickly. the moment that Ben realized he must be visible to the others, he went to ask for help. 

Ben can't even feel happy about feeling the ground once more because his brother is out there, left on their parlor, gasping for his life and Ben thinks he may have a broken neck because Luther squeezed and squeezed and slammed his brother repeatedly and Ben saw how Klaus turned blue way too fast.

"Klaus is hurt" he screamed the moment he saw Pogo kneeled by his mother's side. "he's going to die" he continued, not caring even if Pogo looks like he's a second away from a heart attack or that his mother is looking at him with the most heartbreaking expression that he saw his whole life.

"the parlor. he's there, he may have a broken neck. Pogo" he told, mind racing on a hundred different scenarios, making his sentences choppy but it seems like both his mother and Pogo could still understand what he is saying because Ben saw how they quickly stood up and ran towards their parlor

Ben entered the parlor with them, feet stopping for a second as he saw how Klaus gasped and gasped and gasped, hands holding his neck in an angle and Ben felt his mouth open and close for the lack of thoughts entering his mind

Klaus looked dead. his lips are too blue and his neck too swollen and his arms littered with huge bruises and Ben knows that if he could, he would've vomitted moments ago but he could not so he is just stuck gagging on nothing

"fracture neck, broken jaw. we have to get him to the medical quickly" Ben heard his mother say and Ben felt numb. number than when he died. his brother has fractured beck and broken jaw because of Luther, someone that Ben trusted with his whole life.

" i feel like im going to throw up" Ben found himself muttering, eyes fixed on his brother. "you can't master Ben. you must help me carry master Klaus to the infirmary"

Ben startled so badly , eye landing on Pogo, who was looking af him patiently. " _you-you could still see me?_ " Ben stuttered out, hands gesturing to himself and he saw how Pogo smiled sadly as he nodded.

"i would ask how you are doing this but at the moment we need to transfer master Klaus as quick as possible" Ben nodded at that, eyes looking back at his brother as the waited for his mother to come back with the stretcher.

"it's not me, its Klaus" Ben found himself saying after a moment of silence. "while unconscious?" and Ben hummed, hands shaking badly and Ben knows he would find his situation hilarious if it was not a matter of life and death. 

"he's sober" he explained as Grace entered the room, stretcher pushed before her. "quickly Pogo, Ben. now darling, do you still remember first aid, lesson fifteen?" 

Ben nodded as he kneeled down next to his brother. together , he and Pogo slowly transfered Klaus into the stretcher. 

...  
_Ben was watching Klaus_. Ben was looking at the window. _Ben was watching Klaus_. Ben saw his siblings enter the mansion, Five being carried by Diego. 

Ben is pretty sure he's still visible, even though he stopped being able to touch things the moment Grace administered the first opioid. Ben does not know how Klaus is still doing this, but he's still doing it and that's all that matters.

Ben watched as the infirmary doors slammed open as Diego called out for Pogo before his eyes zeroed on Klaus, then to Ben. "hi" Ben muttered softly, eyes looking at his feet because he does not think he could still hold himself together if he looks at Diego

"Ben?" Allison sobbed out and he saw how she tried to come near him. " _i can't- you can't hug me_ " Ben mumbled, "i can't be touched. would go through" he explained as he realized how rude he sounded 

"what-what happened to Klaus?" Diego asked and ben sobbed out, a horrible sound being ripped from his very soul as memories flashed by his eyes once more. "Ben?"

and Ben talked, his mouth rambling on fast as he told about how Luther begged Klaus to summon Reginald, how Klaus told Luther that he can't, how Luther got so mad, how Klaus begged Luther to stop, how Luther choked Klaus and slammed him again and _again_ and _again_ and **_again_** to the pillar of their mansion. he told on how Luther left Klaus for dead, his feet taking him far from the house, to get drunk

" _no_ " Allison mumbled, horrified as Diego punched the wall of their infirmary. "no" and Ben can only sob harder at that

because he thought so too, thought that Luther can't do that Klaus Klaus but he did and Ben witnessed that with his own eyes and he wished that he could've done something to prevent that. _but he couldn't_.

...  
Vanya came after a few hours, saying she left something and she would just get it. _Ben was still visible_. Vanya freaked out. Vanya broke the liquor cabinet with her voice. _Ben was still visible_

"how?" Vanya whispered as she stepped near Ben and Ben told her the same thing again. that he's only visible. that he can't be touched ,what had happened to Klaus, what had happened to Five, what Luther did and by the end of it Vanya was shaking so bad that Ben feared for her life

"they need you Vanya" and it seemed like the right thing to say because Vanya calmed down, eyes filled with tears as she nodded.

Five woke up the next day and wrecked havoc, looking for Luther. promising death and Klaus was...Klaus was still asleep.

"he may never wake up" Pogo admitted to him one night. "he's fueling you dear boy" and Pogo sniffled as he looked up "and i'm afraid he only have enough energy for one life"

Ben felt his world end at that. his brother may never wake up because of him. because he was making Ben visible. "no" he found himself saying. head shaking as he tried to deny what was happening 

"it may my boy. you have to be prepared"

...  
April first came and the world still stood. Luther was back home, packing his things. he had said he was going to go away, never return because of what he have done and Ben felt _sad, mad, happy???_

"he may never wake up" he finally told his siblings. all of them, even Luther because he deserves to know, _he needs to know_. so that Ben can have someone to share his guilt with 

"because he's fueling my very existence. _because of what you have done_ " and he screamed, his finger pointing at his brother. Ben knows he would gain nothing from blaming Luther but Luther needs to know. _he needs to know_

....  
they were going to give up, remove Klaus' support when he moved. slowly at first, before he bolted up, hands scrambling to push himself off the bed as he opened his mouth and tried to scream but no voice escaped his mouth.

"Klaus" Ben found himself screaming. " _im sorry im sorry im sorry_ " he whispered, not stopping until Klaus looked at him, eyes still crazed and hazy. "im sorry"

  
and he saw Klaus blink and Ben felt his nonexistent heartbeat go slower at that because even if Klaus is not yet fine, he is now awake and that's all that matters

**Author's Note:**

> timeline? idk her. i know its not as good as the first one but i hope i still did the scene justice
> 
> title from Kill All Your Friends by My Chemical Romance if you are curious 
> 
> yell at me on tumblr and twitter @bennybentacles


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